Horrendous, Harrowing Hospitals

I hate hospitals. I hate the cold, white hallways. I hate the whispers and the stares. I hate nurses who act too friendly and smile too much. I hate the sound of the doctor's echo because it's too quiet. I hate the smell of antiseptics and the stench of the decaying. I hate being aware of the time ticking away. I hate the supposedly "child friendly"rooms that ruin disney characters. I hate the cloud of uncertainty that is constantly looming ahead. I hate the sound of silence, that's just too loud. I hate the thought that the hospital is the place an abundance of people come to be saved, but die instead. I hate the fact I have to experience this everytime I go there, whether it's because I have a cold or a stomach virus. I know that doctors save lives everyday and hospitals are required. I know all the benefits that come from a good health care system. I know I should appreciate hospitals, but I don't. I respect doctors. However, hospitals are just horrible.

For somebody who hates hospitals so much, I for one, tend to spend a lot of time in them. This isn't due to the fact that I like to make sick people feel better. It's because, living in a third-world country and constantly inhaling more carbon dioxide than oxygen, I've developed a very poor immune system. As a result of my poor immunity, I get sick. I get very sick. It's not the same type of illness all the time though, it differs every few months. I get stomach flus easily. I've had an ulcer scare, and been prescribed the wrong medicine, resulting in me getting even sicker. I've had typhoid a couple of times. I get colds too though, like a normal human. I'm pretty sure my lungs are more black than a chain-smoker, even though I've never held a cigarette in my life, because of all the dirt I breath in on a daily basis. Experiencing these diseases may have been educational to a point, if I had not spent most of those horrible, horrible months (especially the typhoid months) in the hospital. Trying to be my own physiologist, I've decided that I dislike hospitals because I dislike being sick. But again, don't we all? However, my case is a little bit unique. I've gotten more illnesses than the average person, I've spent more time with doctors than an average teenager, and I've developed a phobia of being sick. I may have developed emetophobia over time. I tend to associate getting sick with going to the hospital, and maybe THAT'S why I don't like hospitals. It's because I've got emetophobia.

As I dislike hospitals so much, I came up with a list of things a hospital could do to make us "haters', hate less:

1) Treat Patients Normally: Nobody wants pity and sad stares when they're sick. Where's all the optimism gone? Treat patients normally, no matter how sick they are. However, if your normal is actually mean, then just be friendly. Well, don't be over-friendly. Just don't look at them funny, or smile too much (psttt, nurses!).

2) Put Happy Magazines In The Waiting Room: Put happy magazines in the waiting room, none of the boring real estate ones: people come here to get better, not buy a house. Please, please, please refrain from putting those magazines that are always telling people to go on unhealthy diets. Some of those ideas are dangerous, and you don't want the patients to try them at home. Put up happy, funny, and pretty magazines. Put up informative and educational magazines, it couldn't be a bad thing to learn something while waiting.

3) Do Something To Cover Up The Antiseptic's Smell: I don't know what, but those scents that smell too clean, are kind of intimidating. Also, the other type of smell is pain scary.

4) Nurses, STOP SMILING SO MUCH: Nurses, I love and respect you. However, if I'm down with 103 degree fever, I do not appreciate you smiling so brightly ALL THE TIME. I'm sure that you pay your dentist well to take care of those pearly whites, but please display them elsewhere. I have nothing against smiling, I do it all the time. Just please don't smile at the wrong moments. By wrong moments, I mean the ones when you're just about to stick a needle the size of a pencil into a child's arm and you smile, while saying, "this may hurt a little". WHY WOULD YOU SMILE THEN? Do you like to see people in pain? Especially children? Please don't smile during times like this, it makes you look like a sadist. Other than bad-timed smiling, you're good. The small talk is fine, just sometimes silence is better.

5) Stop Trying To Be Child-Friendly To Teenagers: I'm not 5. Please don't talk to me like I can not understand you, because I can. I can also analyze your hand gestures, don't need to over-do those. Please don't put me in rooms in which Winnie The Pooh is painted on the walls in odd colours. I prefer a mustard-yellow pooh with a red shirt, not a neon-yellow pooh with a pink shirt. That's too psychedelic for me, especially when I'm sick. I prefer plain white walls, thank you very much. I'd love it if you didn't provide me with crayons and paper every time I step into the waiting room. If I were healthy enough to colour, I'm sure I'd be healthy enough to go to school.

I believe those 5 suggestions are sufficiently drenched with sarcasm (sorry about that, old habits die hard) for the moment.  I could give you suggestions on how to resolve our country's poor health care system, but you most likely wouldn't listen to me. All in all, I don't like hospitals. However, I hope to like them someday as I'll probably be spending more time there, whether I like it or not. 

It's November!

November, is a lovely month.
It sounds of crunchy leaves and thanksgiving greetings.
It smells of warm, hot chocolate and old, old books.
It tastes of cold turkey and yucky cranberry sauce.
It feels like worn out boots and a new, large sweater.
It makes your arms tingle, longing for a warm hug.
It makes your frozen, red nose feel as if it's brighter than Rudolph's.
It's a month of warm, fluffy socks and big blankets.
It's the first month since May you can actually go into a sleep so deep, it's like hibernation.
It's a month of crinkly fires and noisy relatives.
It's a happy, thankful month.
It's the month before the dark, horrible December but after the discomforts of October.
There are no children knocking for candy you don't have.
There are no longer any rotting pumpkins, whose only purpose in life was to be carved then thrown away.
The days aren't yet too short to do much of anything.
The music is good, company is adequate.
It's not sweltering hot nor yet freezing cold.
It's the beautiful month of watching everything that came together in spring, fall apart.
It's melancholy and quite.
It's a month for thinking and reading.
It's a month for singing Christmas Carols at the top of your lungs, a month too early.
It's chapped lips, and dozens of lip balms.
Moisturizer is a girl's best friend.
It's the month to look back at the past year, and wonder how time went by so fast.
Goodbye's aren't here yet, but they're getting nearer.
It's a month to discover new music, and wish you knew how to play the piano.
It's a month to remove the nail polish, and look at your finger nails, raw and real.
It's before the frozen toes, and after sweat buds on the upper lip.
It's time for layering millions of clothes, and whimsical day dreams.
It's time for roasted walnuts and Bon Iver.
It's time for musings and the last butterflies.
It's finally almost time for another fresh start, a clean slate.
It's time for re-watching Snow White and trying to have a conversation with a radical grandparent.
It's time for bitting your lower lip, trying keep it warm.
It's time to let down your hair, lift up your chin, and think with your head.
It's November. 

RED by Taylor Swift (Album Review)

I am really big Taylor Swift fan. I love her music, her persona, and her clothes. I love how real she seems and I love how fame hasn't gone to her head. I love how she sings about relatable songs. I love how she's not vulgar. So, when I heard that her new album was coming out I was obviously excited. Her new album, "RED" came out on October 22, 2012. I've listened to all of the songs, and overall it's a good album. It wasn't what I was expecting. Some songs had to grow on me, and others I just hated. However, there are a few I really, really love. I'm proud of Taylor Swift, and even though her sounds changing, it's worth a listen. I personally hope she grows out of the totally pop phase and goes back to being a bit of country and a bit of city. With that, I'm going to start the review: 

State of Grace:
I like this song. It’s fun, and the lyrics are good. The drums are excellent.  Her voice sounds like she’s singing about something epic. I love the lyrics “All we know is touch and go”. It’s so true. In today’s fast-paced world, we don’t really spend enough time getting to know anything or anyone. We just touch the surface, without getting deeper, and go on with our lives. “We learn to live with the pain”. That’s exactly what everybody in the whole world is doing. We all have a strange pain that follows us in life, whether it be somebody’s death or words not said. The only things we can do are ignore it and learn to live with it.  The chorus, I have a hard time accepting. I mean, it’s only two lines! Come on! I love the classic metaphors though, such as Achilles’ heel.  The metaphors are good and you have to unravel some, which is a great thing.

Red:

Honestly, I didn’t like the song the first 6 times I listened to it. Although, I must say after the 11^th listen I began to like it. It’s very catchy. And I like the line, ‘trying to forget you is like trying to know somebody I’ve never met.’ Other then that, I don’t have much to say about the song. I mean the metaphors are pretty simple, nothing to unravel. The ‘re-e-ed’ chorus is slightly irritating. There are much, much, much betters songs in this album. And sorry Taylor, not all of us know what ‘driving a new Maserati down a dead end street’ is like. I like the line about the autumn colors. The color-coordination of feelings is a bit controlling, but I like it.  The metaphors dealing with feelings, I liked. Overall, too much red.

Treacherous:
treacherous |ˈtre ch ərəs|

Adjective

Guilty of or involving betrayal or deception
 It’s not a miserable song. It talks about infatuation in a physical way, but I really like the tune. It’s really good, except one line. I dislike, for hate is a strong word, when she says ‘I, I, I like it.’ Why are you being so repetitive in all of your songs all of a sudden Taylor? Aside from all the repeating, I find this song rather mature. I especially like the line, “Forever going with the flow but you friction.” Why? Well, that’s for me to know and you to find out. Also, I feel like she’s stalking him with all the ‘follow you, follow you home’s'. Get em next time, Tay.

I Knew You Were Trouble:
Personally, I don’t like this song too much. The lyrics are good though. It’s relatable. Who hasn’t known that somebody is a bad influence but you go ahead and make friends with them anyway? They’re not such good people, but you find them fascinating anyway. In the end, when they disappoint you…well, you’re not surprised. It’s very dubstepish song. It’s not horrendous, but I don’t think it’s a Taylor Swift type of song. It sounds very commercial. Even the metaphors are over-used.

All Too Well

All too well. I know Taylor Swift all too well, through her songs. This is exactly the type of song she makes and I love that. This is the definition of Taylor Swift. There are metaphors, memories, and nostalgia. I love it. THIS IS TAYLOR. THIS IS WHAT I LOVE, WHAT ALL HER FANS LOVE. The raw lyrics, not too poppy or hyper. It’s beautiful. Forgetting anything/body we loved once is hard to forget. Be it a place or a person or an entire island, it’s all-hard to forget. It’s also hard to be forgotten, but it happens. We remember and it hurts, but we move on. I also love all the dancing, and especially the lyrics, “Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it.” Honestly, these lyrics are all honest and beautiful.  I also like,” So casually cruel in the name of being honest”. I think it’s obvious that honestly is the best policy, but there is a limit. Being too honest hurts as much as a lie. Also, “After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own”. First of all, who HASN’T had their plaid shirt days? It’s a known fact that humans, at some point in life, have a slight obsession with plaid shirts. It’s one of the Seven Ages, for god’s sake! The second part of that line also has a meaning, “when you made me your own”. When you spend too much time with a person, you begin to adopt their odd habits or parts of their behavior. At the same time, they begin to adopt some of yours. You become each other, thus explaining, ‘you made me your own’. Those, ladies and gentlemen, are beautiful, thoughtful lyrics.  I love this song. I can relate to it, all too well.

22

What a hipster song! I actually, really love this song. It’s very dancy and fun. She also claims she is happy, free, confused, and lonely. That makes her look normal. I have a sister who’s almost 22, and I feel like if she liked Taylor Swift, she would like this song. I love how she owns up to the fact she dresses up like hipsters and makes fun of her exes. Also the line, “You look like bad news, I gotta have you”. She’s kind of poking fun at herself and it’s such an upbeat song that makes one feel truly happy and carefree. One problem though, I’m not exactly that age yet. Only if I was 22…

I Almost Do

Not one of my favorites, but I love her voice in this song. I also love how she’s confident enough to say that she’s betting he’s thinking about her. I mean, it’s an okay song. The lyrics are simple though, a bit bland. It’s basically her assuming what he’s thinking. It’s a catchy song, but I find it kind of … pathetic? Sorry Taylor! However, I think this song should have a letter for the better of all. Of course, some parts are good but as a whole… I don’t think so.  The first time I heard this, I was thinking about shutting it off after 2 minutes, and still I almost do. Just reinforcing this, but I really like the line about knowing he’s wondering about her, you’ve got courage girl!

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together:
When I first heard it; it was definitely not what I was expecting. But it’s a very dancy song. It’s also very fun, but not that relatable, to me personally. Other then that, it’s upbeat. I didn’t really like the music video. It wasn’t that good. It wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t that fun. It wasn’t that happy. That’s all. It wasn’t that.

Stay Stay Stay:
This song is incredibly playful, yet it is one of my least favorites. Comparably to the other songs, it’s strikes me a bit immature. The lyrics are simple and straight forward, no metaphors, no deeper meaning. The lyrics, ‘And I love you because you have given me no choice’ make it sound forced. The repeating of the words ‘mad’ and ‘stay’ weren’t that good. The repeating worked better for Begin Again. Yet, all the stanzas about ‘hanging out’ were simple, straightforward, but in a good way. ANY song from the Fearless album or even the Taylor Swift album is more mature than this. Also, Taylor, before you told him to stay, I don’t think he said anything about leaving. Assuming a bit too much, don’t you think?

The Last Time :
Before I start this, I want to inform everybody that I ABSOLUTELY adore Snow Pistol. The lead singer, Gary Lighbody, is featured in the song. I adore both of these singers, and the song is decent, yet I have a few problems. Firstly, I don’t like the beginning of the first chorus, it’s so high pitched, and it’s almost like screeching. But I really love the rest of the song. It’s about avoiding somebody you don’t wan to or cannot handle seeing a moment, but then there they are. It’s horrible, and they’re asking for a second chance because they messed up the first one. Then, even if you’re obviously handing your dignity over, you give in. But warning intruder! This is the Last Time I’m doing this! (Sure.) Other than that, not a bad song, decent enough.

Holy Ground:
THIS SONG IS HOLY-MOLY AMAZING. It’s truly a mature, improved version Taylor swift, but she’s still quirky. Her voice sounds really different, but I really love the new voice. It’s has an abundance of metaphors and the lyrics are gorgeous. It’s about somebody who’s not around anymore, and she really misses that person. It’s about the missing, and the aching that comes along with it.  As she states, she was reminiscing about all the good times she had with this specific person. I especially like the lyrics, ‘ when you’d been my poems like a perfect line.’  I don’t know if she’s saying ‘been’ by poems, or ‘read’ my poems. I like that metaphor anyway. As mentioned in Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, poetry was originally the food of love. I think we can guess what that person meant to Taylor. However, that person does not have to be the same type for us. I like how she’s twists that in, by not saying any thing specific.  I also really like, “ the story’s got dust on every page” and “I see your face in every crowd”. Firstly, “the story’s got dust on every page”. It obviously means that these good times Taylor is talking about took place a long time ago. I really love what she does with the word dust. We connect the word dust with things that are old and forgotten. However, the story she’s talking about here is old, but obviously not forgotten. Now, ‘I see your face in every crowd’. It’s her twist of the story where you see a certain face in the crowd, and only that face.  Then she continues, “Tonight I’m goanna dance like you were in this room but I don’t want to dance if I’m not dancing with you ”. It’s obvious she’s missing that person especially while dancing. Yet, she sees the face of this person when he’s not even there. The person has obviously been dwelling in her mind for sometime. This song is really grown up and I enjoyed it immensely. Thanks for the metaphors, Taylor!

Sad Beautiful Tragic:

This song is ‘sad, beautiful, tragic.’ I loved this intro. One of the best intro’s I have heard from Taylor Swift.  “Words, how little they means, when you’re a little too late” was a great line.  It’s relatable. If you don’t say things when they’re supposed to be said, you never really get a second chance. Words lose their meaning after a certain time.  I despise the chorus.  The line ‘And you’ve got your demons and darling they all look like me’ is really sad, but beautiful, yet tragic. But really, I love the lyrics in this song, except for the chorus. She could have been way more creative. I feel like this whole song is about some great pain, none of us can really comprehend, but that’s why it’s beautiful.

The Lucky One:
The Lucky One is probably one of Taylor’s best songs. It has what some of her songs lack, depth. It’s not about infatuation or boys or anything superficial. It’s about a specific monster named fame. You see, fame is not what are looks like. As she says, “The camera flashes make it look like a dream”. Every line in the song is so meaningful. I mean, sure, there are a lot of movies and songs about how fame just sucks, but they don’t make it sound as lonely as she does. It’s like she appreciates everything, and she really wants to feel like she’s the lucky one because everybody is telling her so. One problem though, “you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used.” You’re confused and lost and fame is not fun. It’s great at first, you’re famous and you have fans that love you. Then, you become kind of lost and indulge in you newfound fame. You do stupid things.  Then, you’re judged. There are younger, more beautiful people coming up. You’re old news, and the fall from fame is horrendous. You’re being replaced and you can’t do anything about it. You’re trying not to ungrateful but you don’t feel all that lucky. Then you fade away, and buy a big house, and live the rest of your life like that. You’re forgotten until you’re dead. This song holds so much truth and meaning. Every line and every word is so horrendously honest. In her first line, she talks about ‘a town with a made up name’ and moving there. The town she’s talking about is ‘fame’. It’s not a place, but then again it is. The famous are at a whole another level, a different planet almost. It seems so fabulous at first. As she said, ‘Everybody loves pretty, everybody loves cool’. There is so much truth in that. Also, her voice sounds so much more grown up and beautiful. It’s even kind of husky at some points. The is the most mature song in this album, and I’m so proud of her. I’m kind of disappointed by some other songs, but this one makes up for it all.  Fabulous job Tay, sorry you have to be the lucky one.

Everything Has Changed:
This song features, Ed Sheeran. I’ve only previously heard the song A-team by Ed Sheeran, which I found okay. I especially like this song, even if the repeating of the words, “I just want to know you better” gets pretty old. I love the drums in the song, they sound so tribal and powerful. I love the line, “Your eyes look like coming home.” Some people spend lifetimes trying to find home? Isn’t it queerly wonderful that home would be somebody eyes? Eyes are the windows of our souls, a home to another. It’s a beautiful thought. “And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies, the beautiful kind.” I like this line, because it implies that having butterflies in one’s stomach isn’t always a good thing. It’s the truth too. I’ve had butterflies right before I threw up, so I’m glad she specifies. Overall, this is a pretty decent song with an amazing beat. The voices of Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran really harmonize well together.

Starlight:

WHAT A WHIMSICAL SONG! It’s gorgeous! She’s doing one of the things she’s best at, telling a story. What a whimsical and fun story it is! I also love the use of the word ‘marvelous’.  It’s a song that you can listen to feel better, yet it’s a song you can scream at the top of your lungs during a road trip.  I like the lines, “Ooh Ohh he’s talking crazy, Ooh Ohh dancing with me, Ooh Ohh we could get married, have ten kids and teach them how to dream”. It’s such a wild, crazy idea. I especially love the ‘teach them how to dream’ part. I mean, how many parents have a baby and thing, “hmm, I’m going to teach this kid to dream’. This whole song is so whimsical and wonderful. The bonus? It comes with a moral! In the song, the boy says, ‘look at you worrying so much about the things you can’t change. You’ll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way.” I mean come on guys, we all needed to hear that. We all spend so much time worrying and fretting over things we have no control over, and that does not get us anywhere. This is one of my favorites in this album. It’s so eccentric and quirky. The whole idea of dancing like starlight takes m breath away for some reason. It’s such a heavenly song though, and it’s definitely more mature than any song on her previous album, but it’s till Taylor Swift.  That was an incredibly enchanting song, Miss Taylor.  A must listen. Definitely my favorite. 

Begin Again:
This is a pretty decent song. The lyrics are amazing, like always. It’s like trying to be yourself when a really close person despises all that you love. Then you kind of pretend you don’t like those things, when you really do.  Out of l of the singles, I prefer this one.  I especially love the mention of James Taylor. Personally, I like the line, “I think it’s strange you think I’m funny cuz he never did.” Her voice sounds pretty good in the song. I’ve watched the music video and I love the clothes in it. However, it doesn’t really have a story line like some of her best videos. At first, the ‘I do’s’ were kind of irritating, but those also grew on me. Great song Taylor! 

I'm giving this album 31/2 stars. 

We Are All In This Together

In today's world all things are linked. The internet and other such modern innovations have made this link stronger and more powerful than ever. We trade and communicate with people we may never personally know. This not only makes the world a strong unit, but also a well linked one. The communication we are capable of today was not even a budding idea or possibility for our ancestors. This is the result of globalization. We all depend on each-other, no matter where we live. If all of a country's inhabitants are dependent upon each other, the countries themselves will also become dependent of the other.

As a result of globalization, countries either fall together or rise together. They can never escape each other. Fo a hypothetical example, two countries are neighbors. They are both on the border line of development, yet still considered underdeveloped. They trade often and reply on the other for products that they themselves can not proved. the two countries had about the same literacy rate. However, at one point in time, one of the countries decided to focus on education in order to develop. As the level of education and the literacy rate increased, other fields int he country also benefitted. The economy began to grow as the newly educated population began to form new,  innovative ideas for development. As the newly educated country began to develop, so did its trade neighbor. In this example we can see that as one country develops, other countries linked to this country also develops. This can be a blessing and a curse. If the neighbors of a country develops, the country itself will also develop. However, if the neighboring country does not develop, countries surrounded will be negatively affected.

For a literal example, America and Canada. As one develops so does the other. However the recession that America went through affected the economic development of Canada. It's the ripple effect, as one falls or rises, so do the others. The countries in the world are like a line of dominos. Delicate in the manner in which we rely on the others to succeed, because if they do, we will too.

Until this point, I've used examples of the economic development of a country affecting the others. However, the level of health, security, and safety of a country also affect its neighbors. If there is a civil  war happening in a country, its neighbors will be adversely affected.

Thus, I conclude that ever country in the world relies on other countries. They can never be completely independent of another, much like us humans. 

Wander Lusted Dreams

Do you ever feel like getting out of here (wherever you might be)? Not because you don't like your situation or the people involved in your life, but because you simply want a change? It's like you just want to get out of here, and see the world.

I love my life, I really do. I love my friends. I love the person who I am becoming, and who I am.  I especially love my family. However, at the moment I want to travel. I want to see the places I've never been to and meet people I have never met. I want to country hop. I want to listen to different languages, and eat different food. I want to get lost on a street, and finally find that I am where I'm supposed to be.  I want to travel.

I usually detest long car rides. I hate planes, as a general rule. I don't like staying at hotels or sleeping in a bed that's not mine. I have motion sickness. Usually, I love being homebound.  At the moment though, I want all of those things. I want to get on a plane, and I want that feeling I so much hate. I wan t my stomach to churn, just as the plane leaves. I want get off in the middle of the road because I feel need to balance myself, before I throw-up. I want to do all the cheesy, touristy things I usually frown upon. I want to spend hours in old, musty museums. I want to stand in line, in order to see a painting that's a thousand years old. I want to stare at a sky filled with fire-crackers and feel infinite. I want clean air, and green fields. I want to touch the ground where my feet never have.

I want to get out of this valley.

I want to meet people who talk about things that actually matter. They don't utter a word about who said what, when, and where. They don't drone on and on about how much calorie a specific food has or how their health is deteriorating. They don't care about who wore what where. They don't whine about things that they can't change. They don't talk ABOUT people, but TO them. They don't assume without the facts. They don't run their mouths and waste their words saying things without meaning. They don't talk about the same old things every single day.

The funny thing is, I want to go on an adventure. However, I don't want to go by myself: I want to drag my family along. I can't imagine traveling without my father's jokes or my mother's common sense. It would be against the point to go without my brother. I want to travel the world with those I love and know the best. I don't know how though, in today's world, it's asking too much.

I know this isn't currently possible. I mean, we have lives to live right? We all have daily routines to follow.  We have school books to memorize. Exams to take. Work to do. At the moment, this is just a dream. Someday though, it will be reality. I WILL dust my feet off of this place, and finally fulfill my wander lusted dreams. 

Friends Are Not Forever

Since elementary school, I've had a 'best friend'.  First, it was the girl who gave me a napkin to wipe my tears on the first day of kindergarten. Then, the one who LOVED to lecture me about American culture (Bratz, and how Barbie was SO not cool). She was followed by the animal lover, and then the neat freak. All of these folks, were my best friends. We talked about Hannah Montana, Curious George, and the Jonas Brothers. We all loved Miley Cyrus. We were all going to marry one of the JoBros (Nick was mine.) We made up dances to Rihanna songs. Chris Brown was still singing 'Forever' and hadn't beat anybody up yet. All of us loved school, some of us loved homework. We went home tired and happy, fulfilling a whole day learning and playing tether ball. A day was a life time. Everybody was friends. Boys had cooties. Long hair was cool. You HAD to know the lyrics to every single high school musical song (well the first one, the others weren't out yet). NOBODY wore dresses, those were for sissies. Goodbyes and hugs were exchanged on a daily basis. We had been friends since Kindergarten, we were going to be friends forever.  On the day of our 5th grade graduation, we all promised we'd keep in touch and be 'BFFs FOREVER'.

I think it's obvious that is not what happened. After that day, we'd call each other rather frequently. We'd still attend each other's birthday parties. We'd still make sure we knew all of the lyrics to the new Miley song. Hannah Montana was still our religion. Then, we all started at different middle schools. That's when all that 'forever and ever' stuff went down the drain. We began to make new friends, and become slightly new people. No longer were we longing for each other's company. Our phone calls got shorter and shorter, until they finally stopped. Hannah Montana was still a big part of our lives, but not THAT big. No more birthday parties. Nick Jonas, however, was still appealing. We all had our own lives now, we'd gone our separate ways. Personally, I didn't mind. Middle school was great. I had new friends, and new classes. I had different teachers for different classes. I had a locker. Lily finally found out Miley's secret. I loved life. I didn't really long for my elementary school days.

Then, at the the end of middle school all the crying and "BFFs FOREVER AND EVER" took place. Yes, again. However, this time I really meant it. I had had the same best friend for 3 years. The only difference between the elementary departure and the middle school one was that I was moving to a different country. Taylor Swift replaced Miley Cyrus (Fearless hadn't come out yet). Glee was the new Hannah Montana. The Jonas Brother were still big, Justin Bieber's 'One Time' had just come out. Everybody had a facebook, and skype was the new hype. All the pinky promises about Facebooking everyday were made. All the not-so crocodile tears shed. All the 'OMG I cant believe U R Gonna Go' and 'Im gonna miss you sooooooooooo much" texts sent. I finally left that sunny, April morning with blotchy skin and red rimmed eyes, most likely to never return. For the next few weeks, it went as promised. I facebooked and skyped with everyone, and told them all everything about everything.

We still seemed liked the best of friends.

Then eventually the Facebook messages got shorter and the inside jokes slowly began to fade into a distant past. They began to like Justin Bieber and I, the Beatles. One Direction became their Jonas Brother, while I discovered Coldplay, Oasis, and The Killers. I still loved Taylor Swift (till today, y'all). It soon became uncomfortable to even message a 'Hi' to my so called best-friends. (Except one. That one, I still talk to today and I think she's the only exception.)  I couldn't do more than 'like' a picture. That's about the time I began to realize something; nothing lasts forever. It can't. It's not possible for ANYTHING to last forever. Everything must end whether we like it or not. That is an epiphany that has helped me through the last few years. Also, I began to feel that Facebook created a distance instead of a connection. If Facebook hadn't been there, my friendships would fade away without the cutting nostalgia that takes place with every new picture uploaded.

Nothing lasts forever, especially in the field of friendship. Some friendships may endure time and succeed, but most won't. It's not a comforting thought, but we have to live with it. Honestly, at times, I find this fact of life rather refreshing. Today, I'm having a bit of a hard time unravelling my thoughts into words, but I'm just saying that when we said 'BFFs FOREVER', we weren't really kidding. Not then anyway. Our words truly held meaning at that moment, they just began to fade with time. We indeed were best friends forever, in our own little 10-year old infinity. Yet, that infinity finished and other, bigger ones came along. We all got over it all right.

Sometimes, I try to imagine what my 10-year old self would say to this (as in me being Facebook 'friends' instead of real friends with my ex-bffs ). This doesn't really work out too well, as it's hard for me to imagine myself in a different situation than the one I am in now. The thing about the friendships above is that there wasn't really a distinct beginning or end. I don't remember the exact moment I became best of friends with the people, whose statues I currently skim through on Facbeook. The ones who love make-up and are more typically-teenagery than I. Yet, I don't remember the moment where our supposedly perfect friendship sunk into the depressing sea of acquaintance-hood.  I know, though, that it had happened. I also know it maybe happening right now, and I'm sure of the fact it will happen again.

All in all, forever is a lie we tell ourselves to stay happy. But again, aren't most of us lying about the cause of our happiness anyhow?

( I would like to thank the JoBros and Miley Cyrus for beginning many of my childhood friendships. You too, Hillary Duff, even if I forgot to mention you. )

Books for a Book Worm

I am a book worm. I'm not loud and proud, yet I'm not embarrassed. I like books in the same way basketball players like playing basketball. The way an artist loves to create. The way a tech geek loves his computer. I love stories. I love stepping into the figurative shoes of people created by other people. I love experiencing things that I will never physically experience. I like taking a step back from reality once in a while. I love creating friends that I will truly never know (Ah, but can we truly ever know another human?). All in all, I love books.

I will not, like a majority of book lovers, try to convert you into one of us. To me, reading is something sacred. Special. Books are like the hole that Alice falls into. The only difference is I do it my choice. I leap into a story. I appreciate every word written, if it's a good book. I'll read a book once, twice, thrice, and more. Within a book, I can learn a lesson without the consequences. It's as if I'm living life to the fullest potential by not only living my life but also the life of many others. That, is my form of YOLO.

As of today, I spent my early afternoon choking back tears because I couldn't save a fictional character from his written doom. This happens to me more frequently than it should. I grab a book and finish it within a day. Then, I exhibit actions that would lead a normal human to think I am suffering from emotional trauma because majority of the characters in the book end up meaning a lot more to me than they should. Also because horrible things happen to them and I can't do a single thing about it.

Today's book was "The Fault In Our Stars" by John Green. Honestly, there has never been a John Green book that hasn't made me feel something. There also hasn't been a John Green book that didn't make me wish I was smarter. He makes me want to change for the better instead of wallowing in my hopes for the future. He gives me hope that'll someday I'll find people who will take all of what I am and appreciate it. I'm not a genius like Colin, or the perfection Alaska is. I love quotes, and reading about different religion like Pudge, yet I'm not courageous enough to go do something with my life (yet, I hope). I'm rather prudent. I'm definitly not a gorgeous, heart-breaker like any Katherine. I'm not like Gus, always doing the right thing at the right time. I'm not Hazel, I love giving hugs too much to be. And I'm not as smart. I'm not like any character from his books, yet I can relate to every single one of them. I'm a pretty quirky person that most teenagers my age have a hard time understanding, yet still accept. I'm loud. I have a weird laugh. I have eyes that change color depending on the lighting. I'm normal but not. And that's why I love books.

No, not because I'm kind of normal. Because I can relate myself to people I have met that are written by people I will never know. Yet, these words and stories have still touched me. That, is the beauty of books. I know, if you scroll through my blog you'll see a lot of mentions of John Green. Just so you know, his books are not the only books I read. Here are a few authors/books that I like that I can think of right now:
-The Perks of Being a Wallflower
-Catcher of the Rye
-Into the Wild
-The Kite Runner
-Hunger Games
-The Giver
-Megan McCafferty
-J.K. Rowling
-Sarah Dessen
-Meg Cabot (some)
-John Grisham
& I really, really love to read biographies.

Wacky Words and Idiotic Insults of Today

Swear words. They're words that stun and frighten children. They're words that the adolence of today use to sound grown up. They're words that grown ups say when everything is wrong. They're words not usually spoken by the elderly. We don't think of them much, yet they linger in the air around us. They consume the air and float within the atmosphere. They are hidden between any existent words. The drastically change the meaning of a sentence. They break hearts and minds, alike. They bring tears and laughter, oxymoronically together. They are much like regular words, but with a malice touch.

Words are fragile. They might not seem so, being strong and constant. Yet, they can make or break a person. They can be the reason a heart is singing a Disney song. They can also be the bawls that can't even flow away with the rain. Words are constantly hovering around, into, and within us. They might not seem important, but they are. Every single letter of every single consonant is important. Each holds the pressure of being linked together with the right kin for the right purpose.

Saying the right words, at the right time, with the right tone is beyond important. However, most of us magnate to have a great deal of difficulty with it. Linking words together to make sentences is just like linking daisies together to make a crown. Yet, without practice it's a horrendous task.

If words are so important, then why does the majority of human kind talk without thinking? Why do they spur harsh swear words at random intervals? Why do they twist and squeeze normal words into words with horrible meanings? Why do they ramble on and on when they are bored? Why aren't they more careful?

'If only
our tongues
were made
of glass

how much
more careful
we would be
when we speak"

If you notice, around social networking websites, there is a new old word floating around. 'Fake'. If you evesdorp on conversations of 13 year-old girls on the bus stop, they will surely be discussing how 'fake' a certain person is. Scroll through comments of facebook cat-fight statuses, the word 'fake' will be used abundantly. Fake. Fake. Fake. What is fake? Somebody who pretends that they're somebody else? Those are the folks originally known as actors. What is fake? Somebody who plasters their face with make up? Somebody who tells white lies now and then? Somebody who does something they hate to make someone they love proud? Is fake getting surgery because you profoundly hate what you look like? Is being fake reading book after book to escape reality? Is being fake having a large wardrobe? Is being fake acting a certain way in order to compromise a situation? If all that is fake, aren't we all fake?

Swear words, and supposedly mean words have become blatantly stupid these days. The word 'fake' is supposed to be hurtful? Depending on its usage it can be hurtful, yet it makes no sense. Also the word 'gay'.  I find this word very ironic. The original meaning of gay is to be happy. Yet, today homosexuals are discriminated by homophobic, making them (homosexuals) unhappy. Society is making gays, the opposite of their stereo-typical name. Oh, and the infamous f-word. It is the base of nightmares for children. 'Cool' kids use it after every word in every sentence. Yet, it is constantly misused. Its literal meaning makes no sense within those contexts. 'Stupid' and 'idiot' are words that are used rather frequently. However, I'm proud to say that when used they actually make sense.

The point I'm trying to make in this blog article is that we should be careful about what we say. Think before you say. Imagine the consequences of your words, and actions. Slip-ups are necessary and okay, but try to respect words. Why? Because letters are lines drawn on paper. Letters make words, words make sentences, sentences make paragraphs, paragraphs make stories, stories make a lifetime. I leave you with a John Green quote, because he is a man that understands me completely.

“Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”
― John Green

It's a Wonderful Life

'It's a Wonderful Life' is a wonderful movie. It's a simple movie, lacking the modern Hollywood voo-doo. Yet, it touched me more than any movie I can think of. Sure, it's got loop holes. Yes, it does contain flaws and a crooked storyline. Any cynical critic would tell you that, yet it's  perfect within it's imperfections. The theme is simple, and the people are compassionate. It's a movie that makes you think about your life afterwards. It's a movie that slightly changes every single one of us. 

The movie is old for today, it was released in 1946. It was originally in black and white, but they took the effort to color in every scene later on. How would a teenager like me, find a movie that old? Well, it was a recommendation of my father's. He had watched the same movie when he was my age, and it stuck with him. My father is not a person that cares to remember intricate details, yet he remembered this movie. He recalls distinctive scenes of a movie he watched decades ago, and he appreciates it. After I watched it, I know exactly why. This is a movie I will remember my whole life, especially during the hard times. It is an optimistic movie that gives me hope for the human kind. 

The overall storyline is free of complications; an angle comes down from heaven to show a kind-hearted, compassionate, but defeated man what life would be if he was not born. George Bailey begins life as an active, young man that saves his little brother's life. However, while rescuing his little brother, he permenatly damages one of his ears. Two little girls, Mary and Violet, have little girl crushes on him. He does not care one bit. He also stops his employer, who almost gives a little boy poison to drink. His dream is to travel the whole world and go to college. His family's not the richest, so he has to earn the money to go. When he finally earns the money, his father has a stroke and passes away. He leaves the whole buisness to George and his uncle. George decides to give up his Europe trip and help out before college. However, he ends up working there. With his college money, he sends his little brother (Harry) to college. Harry becomes a famous football player, but promises George to come back after 4 years to take over the buisness. When he does return, Harry is married. His new father-in-law gives him an up-and-roaring buisness. George is stuck with a bank that's going downhill. However, something good finally happens in Georges life; he gets married. He marries Mary, the girl who had a crush on him way back when. Just before they leave for their honeymoon, George's bank crashes. They use their honeymoon money on the bank. They begin to build a home out of an old, abandon house. Things begin to look up. They have 4 kids, two boys and two girls. Harry gets to meet the president, and is honored for his war winnings. It's a snowy Christmas. This is until Potter, the man that has been trying to take George down since his father died, finally gets his wish. Uncle Henry, George's business partner, accidently hands over Potter the $8,000 dollars that the bank desperately replies on. Everything is in chaos. Either George or Uncle Harry must go to jail. George goes to Potter to seek help. Potter says something along the lines of, 'You're more valuable dead than alive.' George gets an idea, he can still save the bank! He goes to the river and just as he is about to jump, somebody jumps before him. He jumps in to resucue the man (the angel in disguise). Things happen, and George wishes he wasn't born. Thus, he and the angel go around seeing what would become of his beloved ones if he didn't live. His brother would be dead. His wife would be an old maid. His children wouldn't exist. Uncle Harry would be in a mental asylum. All those people his bank helped out would be homeless and hungry. The world would be a meaner place. He then realizes, we all touch each other's lives. Everyone, even the folks who make life horrible, gives us something. Without anybody, life would be different. It would go on, but it would be different. Then, he fervently wishes things to go back to normal. They do. He runs home and hugs his children, but his wife is missing. While he was gone, she had found out what happened to the bank. She asks all those they helped if they could help her now, they did. Everybody helped out, and Harry came back. The movie ends there. Nobody know what happens to the bank. Nobody know what'll happen in the coming years. Nobody know anything, but that moment is perfect. 

There are flaws, of course. For example, if they didn't have the money how could Mary decorate their huge house so well? How are they all wearing fine clothes?  How could they just start living in an old, abandon house? Don't they need documents? Also, in the beginning of the movie they made Violet look like an important character. However, she doesn't play much of a role later. If George wanted to go away so much, why doesn't he just go on vacation? Those are a few of the flaws, found myself.  

All in all, I really liked this movie. Hollywood does not make these types of movies anymore. Today, it's all about glamourous, glamourous love. Sometimes, it's pretty sickening. This movie really touched me. Maybe because I have the same dream that George had. I want to travel. I want to go to college. Yet, it destroyed me when George's dreams didn't come true. It brought up the fact that all my dreams may not come true either. Yet, George is happy. That gives me hope. Anyway, you should all watch this movie! I leave you with these two quotes:

George Bailey: "I know what I'm gonna do tomorrow, and the next day, and the next year, and the year after that. I'm shakin' the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I'm gonna see the world. Italy, Greece, the Parthenon, the Colosseum. Then, I'm comin' back here to go to college and see what they know. And then I'm gonna build things. I'm gonna build airfields, I'm gonna build skyscrapers a hundred stories high, I'm gonna build bridges a mile long... "

Clarence: "[to George] Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"

The Fab Four Forever

The Fab Four. The Fabulous Four. John, George, Ringo, and Paul. The Beatles. The four young, british men that took over the world. Taking over the world? Many have done that, but they did it with witty brilliance, wonderful music, and bowl-cuts. Personally, I am in awe of them. They make beautiful music. Wait, they don't make just make it, they CREATE it. They create these evergreen songs out of thin air. That, is magic. The took over the world without weapons, but with love. I absolutely love everything about the Beatles, and I do not understand how anybody can not.

John the Genius. Paul the Flirt. George the Spirit. Ringo the drummer (but a damn good one). These four, crazy individuals came together one fine day. They decided to make music. Why? Because music was their savior, in different ways. Also because they loved Rock 'N Roll. They were just regular kids who loved good, new music. The funny thing? They were good at making it. They were good enough to be discovered. They were good enough to create an album, then another one, and then another one. They were good enough to have fans. They were good enough to sell billions of albums. They were good enough to change music forever. That, my dear, is pretty damn good.

The Beatles have fans today, even after half of them are dead. I think it's crystal clear that their music is truly forever. The music does not get old. Listen to an album over and over again, you don't get tired. You find something new every time. I enjoy listening to the Beatles immensely, and I do not understand why the majority of my generation does not.

Most of my peers rather listen to Lil Wayne or Nicki Minaj than the Beatles any day. Whenever I'm asked about my musical choices, I respond honestly. The questioner, after receiving the answer almost aways gives me a weird look. Then, they begin their useless ramble, trying to convince me that I secretly adore Eminem. No. When I try to convince them about how much they love Coldplay or the Beatles, they say "Why are you listening to such old music, it's boring!". I honestly can not stand these conversations. I'm betting my whole life that most of them have never even heard a Beatles song that is not 'All You Need Is Love' or 'Hey Jude'. It doesn't seem fair that they judge the band badly just because it's old. I do not understand why they prefer 'I'm Sexy & I Know It'. I can not even express how beautiful the opening chords of 'Here Comes The Sun' is. How can somebody just make that up? It's unbelievable. How can anybody make up 'I'm Sexy & I Know It'? Well, I'm sure their huge ego helped them out with that.

Another thing I can't help but rant about are the 'artists' themselves. When they're giving an interview they mention the word 'SWAG' a lot. Apparently, rappers and Justin Bieber have a lot of it. What does that mean, anyway? If you watch an interview of the Beatles, you're amused. The interviewers are mostly boring, repetitive people that ask horrendous questions that have already been answered. The Beatles, and their sarcasm save us all. They answer horrible questions with wit. Not many can do that today.

THE BEATLES SING ABOUT THINGS THAT MATTER. Yes, they do have quite a lot of songs about love. However, their song topics do not end there. They have songs about lonely people (Elenor Rigsby). They have songs about politics (Revolution). They have songs about the better things that will come (Here Comes The Sun). They have some songs that make no sense (We Are The Walrus). They have many types of songs. Their love songs are good too. They are not vulgar. They do not objectify women. They sing about the simple things in life, like holding somebody's hand. They are simple, but elegant. They (the guys) are funny, but make brilliant music. They are famous, but they still all have their own opinions. They love music more than anything, and that comes through.

I might be speaking for myself, but I don't think artists today have a whole range of topics to sing about. Actually they do, but they rather just stick with love. No, not simple love. Love that come only with pleasure and body parts. Love that is still there even when they are abused (physically and mentally) by their mate. Love that has no dignity. They could write about the social changes that are taking place. They could sing about how humans are losing the ability to personally acquaint with each other. They can sing about the underground wars taking place, minus the foul words. They can sing about anything. Yet, they choose not to. That, is what I'm upset about. The artists today have beautiful, wonderful voices that could be used anyway they liked. But they don't. They don't use their powers for the better. As hipster as this sounds, all of these artists are so mainstream.

I sound kind of horrible, bashing people that are considered today's musical geniuses.  I'm sorry about this. I get worked up when it come to music, because I love it so. There are contemporary artists that I listen to continuously and adore. I listen to pop music. I like how dance-able and catchy they are. I just wish that people would understand the importance of music and not trash it. Ever listener is directly or indirectly affect my their music. The lyrics mean so much in creating the young minds of today. They need to understand this, before releasing self-absorbed songs that have such bad grammar that having a poetic license isn't even an excuse. The thing is, even though I don't appreciate the music of today's artists (mostly rappers) as much as my peers, I still respect them. The ones I do not respect are the ones parading around claiming that they are the 'new' Beatles. Just no. I want these folks to stop trying to steal somebody else's identity and go make their own. That is all. 

Barbie, Baby!

I grew up in a 'Barbie' world. When I was growing up I had a whole range of dolls, but most of them were Barbies. Back then, I used to adore creating story lines that went along with certain dolls. I loved changing clothes and hairstyles of these dolls. I used to own a large doll house and a few too-tall Kens.  I used to have tiny teacups that I would make tea in. I had picnics with these 'folks' and ended up eating all of their food. They were some of my best friends, as sad as that sounds.  I still have an abundance of dolls leftover from the days where frolicking and dancing with these fake humans was the norm. I look at them now, and I don't see the people I used to see in them. No, I see a controversy.

There are good things about Barbies. They are the first friends of little girls. They teach them how to socialize and dress up. They allow children to flourish their imagination by creating stories. They let tiny feminine females learn all about fashion. Most little girls that played with Barbies have a keen sense of style when they mature. I, of course, happen to be an exception. I used to mix match my doll's clothes. The tiny dolls that nobody's heard of used to be wearing the large, beautiful gowns of my barbies. My barbie's attire would consist of torn, too-short dresses. I was never a fasionista. I still am not. Barbies teach little girls to be classy, feminine little ladies.

There's a down side to Barbies as well. Little girls who play only with Barbies, expect real life woman to be just like them. They think that real 'woman' have to be tall, blonde, and beautiful. They begin to get conscious about their appearance at a very early age.  They begin to think that if they don't look like Barbie, they're ugly. In reality, this is not true. Young minds, who have always played with perfect girls think differently. They might not be as skinny as Barbie. They might have muddy-brown eyes instead of clear-blue ones. They might be on the short side. They might have a darker skin tone (However, this might not be the case now-days as they have 'multi-racial' Barbies). They probably don't have never ending legs. They  hopefully do not have D-cups. Once they notice that, they unconsciously begin to think of themselves as ugly. They believe they're not good-looking because they don't look like Barbie. This later affects them even more so. This might be the beginning of an eating disorder. This thought might leading to bulimia or anorexia. That is the downside to Barbies. They are so flawless and full that they make little girls conscious of how unlike them Barbie is.

Being a girl with dark eyes, dark hair, a normal amount of zits, and being on the short side of the scale, I understand this. If you flip through magazine, look at the models. Most of the models are as tall as the Empire State Building. They all have flawless, pimple-less skin. They are scary skinny and have ocean colored eyes. I on the other hand, don't have any of that. However, I do have a brain. My brain tells me that even though I might not be as gorgeous as those photo-shopped models, I'm not ugly either. That is fine with me. There are many more things to a person than looks. Barbie disagrees with this, and so do little girls. Society brainwashes girls into thinking they have to be super skinny, but not anorexic skinny. They must be smart, but not boring smart. They are required to be pretty, but if they're too pretty they'll get picked on. They should talk, but not too much. Girls today, can not catch a break. Barbies just blindly nod at this. The thing with Barbie, is that she does not encourage smartness. Her large, clear eyes do not have an intellectual glint. I'm not saying that pretty girls can't be smart, they can. They should be. However, I am saying that parents should think again before buying their 3 year old daughter a Barbie doll. 

"Quotations"

I love quotations. They're exactly what I want to say, but don't have the words to. The best part? There is a quote for everything. Somebody in the past has already thought what you are thinking now. They went to another level and said it. This is amazing, as it ties the present to the past. It will someday tie the future to the present, which will tie it back to the past. That might take sometime to comprehend, but once you do it’ll make sense. I promise. I can spend hours and hours reading quotes. One quote can mean different things to different people. Here are a few quotes I like, in no specific order:

1. “I was thinking how amazing it was that the world contained so many lives. Out in these streets people were embroiled in a thousand different matters, money problems, love problems, school problems. People were falling in love, getting married, going to drug rehab, learning how to ice-skate, getting bifocals, studying for exams, trying on clothes, getting their hair-cut and getting born. And in some houses people were getting old and sick and were dying, leaving others to grieve. It was happening all the time, unnoticed, and it was the thing that really mattered.'' Jeffrey Eugenides

It's incredible to think that people are doing things with their lives every second of everyday. The world is consisted of billions of little lives growing and changing all the time. This is gone unnoticed by most of us most of the time. However, once you ponder upon this musing it's inconceivable. For the first time, you are not the only one that matters. You are not the only one who has a life, everybody does. It's a mind-blowing observation, Mr. Jeffrey Eugenides, mind-blowing. 

2.“You know what I think we are most afraid of? Not knowing. Not knowing whether it’s all really worth it. Not knowing if you should give up or keep fighting. Not knowing why you do things you do; not knowing the purpose. It’s like when you’re little and you touch the stove and get burned, because you didn’t really know that it was hot. Not knowing has always hurt us, from the very beginning.”

All humans have the same bad habit. They are too curious. They need to know everything about anything. Not knowing something makes us feel lost and stupid. These are not feelings we appreciate. Too many options have hurt human kind from the beginning, because we do not know which is the right one to choose. We’ve figured out that if we know everything, then we can indirectly be in control of it all. If we are in control of anything and everything, then nothing can ever harm us. That’s why scientist’s jobs are to experiment, experiment, and experiment. They’re trying to find out what the rest of us don’t already know, so human kind never has to get hurt.

3. “You know that feeling, when you're reading a book, and there's a line in it so awesome you re-read it again and again; because you love it so much you just want to reach out and touch it, but the best you can do is read it until you can almost taste it on your tongue?”

If you love to read as much as I do, you know this feeling like the back of your hand. That might not be the best metaphor though, as how many of us spend hours staring at our own hands? Anyway, this tends to happen to me very frequently. When you read a book, a certain word or phrase jumps out you sometimes. You can relate to or you want to be able to relate to it someday so much that you read those words over and over again trying to get them within you. Then you stop reading and just think about those words. That’s the moment you realize how important and fragile these words are. So simple, yet they explain everything. This, people is the magic of words.
4. “Settle? You said ‘settle’. Settle for anything and you’re doomed. My biggest fear in life is being mediocre. We can’t be willing to settle for anything, especially for less than we deserve. We watch other people live out their dreams; instead of invest in dreams of our own. We should strive for greatness, for life is too short. We must make it extraordinary and never settle for anything less than extraordinary or else…life would suck. It might suck anyway, but it’s better to suck with integrity, right?”

—

Frankie

The meaning of this quote is obvious. We can’t settle for anything. We should always be wanting, striving, achieving. It contradicts to what Buddha says about happiness. He says cut off the desire from your life. This is true, but wouldn’t you want to live and be adventurous before you do this? Settling is for the middle-aged. When we get there, we’ll settle. However right now, we shouldn’t settle for anything. We should be reachers, not settlers. We must have enough dignity to do this. Sometimes, we must have enough dignity and self worth to walk away from people or places that are important to us but take away our happiness. As actions speak louder than words, we must not only think great, extravagant thoughts but we must follow those thoughts with actions. That I believe might also be the facts behind the saying, YOLO (You only live once). Yolo, so live with integrity and adventure. Don’t settle, reach.
5. ‘You must love your crooked neighbor, with all your crooked heart.’ –W.H Auden

I find this quote immensely beautiful. None of us are perfect, thus we must accept each other with all of the flaws included. The word ‘neighbor’ here does not only refer to the person living next to you, it refers to anybody you know well. Your neighbor might be filled with flaws and shortcoming, but so are you. Your heart too is crooked. Thus, you must accept anybody and everybody as they should accept you.
6. "I'm in love with cities I've never been to and people I’ve never met."
This is literally my life. I’m always hoping that my future brings things better than my present. I imagine living in the greatest cities in the world. London, Paris, New York, Moscow, Athens, Rio and all the rest, they consume most of my thoughts. They are the bases of my imagination. The people I have never met go right along with them. People who get my weird sense of humor, and can make me laugh till I can’t breath. Right now, most of the people I know are on the chuckling level. These are the people that I can have a conversation with about nothing and anything at the same time. The ones that can talk about deep, meaningful things one minute and go off on a snarky, sarcastic rant in the next. The folks who are not ashamed of dancing randomly but also enjoy sitting in comfortable silence. I dream of these places and these people I have never known. They are nothing but a sliver of my imagination, yet they mean the world to me. Although I might be a little hopeful, I know I’ll go to these cities and meet these people one day.

7. 'I am going to take this bucket of water and pour it on the flames of hell, and then I am going to use this torch to burn down the gates of paradise so that people will not love God for want of heaven of fear of hell, but because He is God.” –John Green

I love this quote because of the truth in it. Many people claim they believe in and love God, I doubt this. All these people are just following the so-called rules of religion. By doing this, they hope that good things will happen to them later. Maybe if they don’t sin now, later they’ll go to heaven and be gifted with women. Maybe if they don’t swear, surely God will send them to heaven and give them everything their hearts desire. They won’t yell at somebody they don’t like because they’re scared of going to Hell. Honestly, those people are crazy. They’re commercializing God. They’re making it seem as if God is blackmailing them. Guess what? I believe in the Gods. However I don’t believe in Heaven or Hell. How can God, who has so much faith in you, manipulate you? I believe in Karma. I believe that everybody should be nice to everybody else because they exist. I believe in the reasoning that everything happens for a reason. I don’t think that we should be good people because we’ll get prizes from God later. That’s a horrendous way of thinking.

8. “There were so many of us who would have to live with things done and things left undone that day. Things that did not go right, things that seemed okay at the time because we could not see the future. If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can't know better until knowing better is useless.”

― John Green, Looking for Alaska

And this one, as I take away the same thing from both of them.
“I believe that what we get out of life is what we've set ourselves up to get, so there's no such thing as an inconsequential decision. Our destinies are the culmination of all the choices we've made along the way, which is why it's imperative to listen hard to your inner voice when it speaks up.

Don't let anyone else's noise drown it out.”

― Megan McCafferty, Second Helpings

“But we can’t know better until knowing better is useless”. This is basically the most important fact of life. We do little things everyday that we don’t give a second thought to. These things eventually add up. Every single thing we do eventually adds up into what and who we will be in the future. We don’t understand what is happening when it’s happening. However, if we turn around and look in to the past we finally understand. Life is a teacher who teaches backwards. It takes the exam and then gives the notes. Another thing is, because everything matters so much we must listen to ourselves. We must not blindly follow the actions of others; if we do they will affect us later. We must think with our head and listen to our inner voice. Don’t let anybody else change the way you think, unless it’s for the better.
9. “Maybe these are my glory days and I’m not even realizing it because they don’t involve a ball.” –The Perks of Being a Wallflower
When we look at famous people, specifically sports stars we are amazed. We see them running around or swimming on national television, with the whole world watching them succeed. We know for a fact that these are their glory days. These are the days that they’re going to tell their grand children about. These are days they will forever remember. Then we think, when are our glory days coming? We spend so much time thinking about this, that we might not even notice when our glory days come and go. Why? This is because everybody’s glory days are different. We all have different talents. We all will succeed in different fields. Sometimes, those fields don’t include a ball. And that’s okay.

10. “My thoughts create my world.” -Marcus Flutie from Megan McCafferty’s Sloppy Firsts

My thoughts create my world. Your thoughts create your world. His thoughts create his world. The thoughts we think, consciously and unconsciously, create our world. They shape our perspective on how we see the world. We all see things, hear things, and feel things differently. This is because of our thoughts. Every thought we have results into how we feel about one thing or another. Our thoughts are our world, for they created it. Perspective is how we see the world. Thoughts are directly proportional to perspective. Thus our whole world is created my things we think. 

The Little Engine That Could, But Wouldn't

Everyone's heard of the little engine that could, right? Well, if you haven't you should Google the little guy right now. This little guy is an inspiration to all. He thought he could, so he did. He succeeded too. If we believe in ourselves, we can do anything we want. This seems easy enough right? It would be, if it wasn't for the pressure of society and of those that surround us.

We are being judged. We've been judged before, and we will be judged forever more. Even though it happens all the time, it is not easy. Being judged is hard. Not feeling as if you are good enough is even harder. People talk, and it's hard for them to stop. Usually they talk without thinking. When they talk about you then, it's no use paying any attention. They're silly people who don't have anything better to do. Now, there are the other talkers. The sadists. They talk with a cunning purpose, without meaning a word. They twist and churn words as if they are making butter. These are the over-dramatic ones who should have aimed to be the writers of gossip columns. They insist they hate drama and gossip, but secretly thrive on them. These are the ones to look out for, and avoid.

Many people tell you're not good enough to do what you want. They tell you, you're too lazy. You're too small. You're too skinny. You're not strong enough. You have a weak stomach. Thus, you can't do this. You can't do that. You can't do anything. You're considered a liability in the world of economics. Well, obviously if they say that, sooner or later you're going to think you can't do anything. You won't think you're strong, smart, and healthy. If everybody tells you, you're never going to be enough; sooner or later you will believe it. You will believe all of the lies people put into your head. The truth is, you can do anything. And so can I. If we work hard and focus, none of our flaws will hinder us. If we listen to those foolish creatures we subconsciously surround ourselves with, we are done for. Words hurt more than anything, even though it does not feel like it. Rise above these negative figures. Find some friends, and stay close only to the ones that prove worthy enough.  This doesn't be mean to those who are mean. Let them be mean, but you stay nice. Don't be the little engine that could but wouldn't because of the negativity surrounding him.

Blackbird, Blackbird

Today, I was sauntering on my rooftop. That might sound odd to you, but it is something I have a habit of doing. Walking on the rooftop, I observe many happenings I wouldn't usually have. Today, I noticed the an oddity about a specific bird.

I begun noticing that most birds fly the same way, at the same time. There's a saying to go with that too, 'birds of a feather flock together'. It may sound like a cliché, but it's true. During flight, most birds flap their wings in a rhythmic manner. It's a graceful upward and downward movement. It is not a movement that would photograph well; it is a movement beautiful only through the human eye. Most birds that inhabit urban areas look the same, eat the same things, and fly in the graceful, distincitve manner.

Through my previous posts, you might have begun to notice something. I love and admire anyone or anything that is not conventional. I love the odd ones who are willing to stand out. It is a bad habit. In humans, they're fairly common. Some people have a spark within them, that I can not miss. Humans have cliques and groups within them. Usually the people within these groups have much in common. I'm not saying it is a bad thing, but sometimes it leads to the destruction of a person being an individual. When you are a group, you tend to go along with whatever everyone else is doing. This does not have to be a bad thing. However, it doesn't take courage to go with the flow. Thus, individuals who don't fit in a specific group but fit in many or none are usually alone. It takes courage to be alone. It takes courage to stand out.

For me, courage is expected of humans now and then. Today, I experienced something so simple it shouldn't have meant anything, but it did. It meant more to me than anything that has happened in the last week. I saw a bird that was alone. It did not have a flock, it was flying alone. It wasn't flying in  the up-down manner that all birds fly. No, it was different. It was flapping its wings sporadically, but once in a while it would stop. It would stop flapping its wings while it was in the air. After it flapped a few times, it would fold its wings. It would only open them back up with it began to fall a little. Gravity affects birds too.

I guess you now think I'm crazy and frivolous, and I am a bit. How could a bird who flew a little differently affect me so much? Well, it made me think of the other birds. The ones that are just a part of the group. Yes, they are more graceful than this specific bird. However, who is enjoying flying more? The birds who all work hard and are like practiced dancers, or the one who's enjoying just dancing? Those birds work hard, but they never get the taste of their own art. This bird, he knows what flying is like. He knows what floating is like. He takes advantage of the life he has been given. If he were human, I would like him greatly.

Maybe this bird isn't an individual. Maybe he's just an odd bird who broke his wings and needs to rest them while flying. Maybe he's a bird that doesn't know how to fly well. Maybe he is an egoistic bird that the others are just sick of. Maybe he thinks his cool flying skills will win over the ladies. Maybe I dug too deep into this. Maybe, but maybe not.