Friday, May 31, 2013

Through My Mind's Fingers

My stomach is not stuffed with food,
but with an emptiness that can not be filled.

It is not the acid that's burning my insides,
it is thought that yesterday will never come again
and neither will tomorrow.

I may never be truly happy.

There are scars that will last a lifetime,
mainly because I never want to let them go.

Nostalgia builds up in my mind,
and I have to remind myself that
today is here and yesterday hurt.

Capture moments, not things they say.
But things don't wake you up at 2 am
to tease and taunt you.
Memories do.

I try to forget what I want to remember,
trying to exist today when life has already slipped,
right through my fingers.

They say the best thing about life
is that it goes on.

They say the worst thing about life
is that it goes on.

But it is never said that today doesn't to exist
in a world that is consumed by yesterday,
in fear of tomorrow.

Brave faces, brace the cold.
The rest of us, fake a sun.

My stomach is burning,
but not because a fire.
It's burning with things I don't know how to say aloud.


Wednesday, May 29, 2013

I Don't Like IT. Neither Should You.

I don't like it.

I don't like it when words won't form automatically, eloquently into my mouth.
I don't like it when my feelings strangle one another, and frustration is the result.
I don't like it when people are ungrateful and mean, taking everything for granted.
I don't like it when quick words, and quicker eyebrows lead into a life time of anger.
I don't like how everybody thinks they are better than everybody else, but nobody takes the time to figure each other out.

I don't like IT.

I don't like not knowing what to say and how, in fear of being judged.
I've made a habit out of hiding, and concealing attributes to create a better perception of myself.
But that perception isn't really me right?
I am hiding behind an invisible wall, scared but angry.

Sticks and stones are controlled, but thoughts harm all.

I don't like it.

I don't like not knowing what I am going to do, or where I'm going to go.
I don't like that there is never a guaranteed happy ending.
I don't like not remembering what I should.
I don't like forgetting, but I do.

I don't like IT.

I don't like what humans have become.
I don't like nosy, absurd people who see things in the darkest of colors.
I don't like loving people but not liking them.
I don't like how I can't phrase that in a better way because I've lost touch.

I don't like it.

I don't like what is happening to this world or me.
I hate the fact the land is overflowing with humans but no where in sight is there humanity.

I don't like IT.

I don't like starting the conversation first, every single time.
I don't like waiting, and wanting for nothing.
I don't like looking up, seeing and then thinking twice before believing.
I don't like pulling down myself, so you can get yourself some dignity.
But I do it anyway.

There may be no humanity, but I'm still human.

I'm still vulnerable, flawed, and scared in a world that refuses to be everything except for perfect.

I don't like it.

I don't like how fairy tales refuse to exist in a world that needs them to stay afloat.
I don't like how nothing happens, till I do something about it.
I don't like how it requires my effort, but none of yours.

I don't like IT.

I don't like what the world has become, and what the people are becoming.
I don't like the fact that not being human has become the new black.

I don't like it.
But there's nothing you and I can do. 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

*Insert Emoticon Here

Social networking sites have become immensely popular over the last decade, especially among teenagers. The social life of teenagers is now fully dependent upon Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Blogspot. There isn't a  person in high school who doesn't have an account on any one of these websites. Communication has turned into status updates and tweets. Phone calls are only used for special occasions. The internet is taking over, and nobody can stop it.

Years ago, staying up till midnight was a big thing. If you were up at midnight, people would be slightly impressed. However, if you sign in on Facebook when the clock strikes 1, the online population keeps rising. Social networking sites have helped us in so many ways. It's easier to communicate. It takes the same amount of time to chat with people we see everyday and people that live a thousand miles away.

This should be a good thing right? Instead of walking over to our new neighbor's house for a welcome, we can just add them on Facebook after a block party. Sure, for the shy, non-talkative teenager the internet is full of promises. It promises popularity and a social life, which were earlier reserved for basketball players and jockeys.

Facebook and Twitter promise popularity to the kids that are too scared to open up. It took the clumsy, scared kids and told them, "with a good sense of humor and way too many selfies, you too can take over the world!" Thus, began the unstoppable cycle of high school trendsetters online.

These social networking sites can be a positive thing. They encourage the unappreciated and tell the nonconformists that they are not alone. The internet has become a huge, huge high school in which the student body president happens to be a new celebrity every month. For some this is great! It allows them to gain friends with similar thoughts and ideas. They don't have to mope around and sob for being different. They are allowed to be themselves. They now have the power to take over the world.

For the rest? Not so much. With popularity moving online, likes and comments now matter. How many friends you have on Facebook tells people how much power you have in the hallways. Not many use the message option as they want the whole world to know everything. There is a lack of privacy and promises that can't be kept.

Social networking sites have increased the amount of gossip that now spreads faster than wild fire. It has discouraged and disapproved of many people. It has made being a high school student more work than ever. If you're gorgeous, like to take pictures, and know all of the online lingo..
Then GuD 4 u BB, u'll hav T0nz of FrenZ

But what if you're smart, like to read books, and don't want to tell anybody anything? Then Facebook would be like being suck in a sad cave. How invisible you seem to everybody, doubles and triples. You feel low and friendless. The loneliness may be most acute when your so called 'friends' post selfies at the same time, same place. You realize you haven't been invited. Then you stop to think? Would you even go?  You click the like button without looking at any more pictures and comment a smiley face. Without this being done, there would be a cat fight awaiting you at school tomorrow.

Social networking sites promise to help you keep in contact with people that don't live too close to you. This is a great promise, but all that glitters isn't gold. Facebook and Twitter just rub in how fine life can go on without you. All those friends you had BFF'd in middle school and really want to keep in touch with? You shall see their selfies, music likes, and statuses. You see them calling somebody else their BFFL. The rub in the fact that not having you in their life doesn't change much. You don't feel too important after that, let me tell you. Your 'friends' aren't really friends because they wouldn't stay up all night to wish you a Happy Birthday. They have become such different people and these new folks replace your memories with the old. When your friends don't talk to you but occasionally like a post, you then know the friendship is officially over.

Instead of closing the gaps between people, social networking sites increase it. Never will you feel so alone. Never will the loss of humanity within humans seem so large. Life has become more complicated and complex than we could have ever predicted. Humans have loss the ability to communicate without emoticons.

The internet has taken over, and that is the sad fact.


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Combat At Heights


On Saturday, 20th of April, an inevitable event took place 23,000 feet above the base of the world’s tallest mountain. Mt. Everest became the highest fighting rink for a few hours. A brawl took place between Sherpa tour guides and well-known climbers who were climbing the renowned mountain. With the story currently being two-sided, the truth is yet to emerged.
            The three tourists were professional climbers from the United Kingdom, Italy, and Switzerland.  They claim the fight began when they told the Sherpas that they would like to continue climbing on their own. The Sherpas reacted quickly, through man handling. The brawl, with the tourists defending themselves, lasted nearly an hour. According to a statement posted on the website of Italian climber, Simone Moro, the Sherpa guides threatened them, be gone or be killed.
            As tourism has always been an important factor in the Nepali economy, events like these are detrimental to Nepal’s tourist-friendly and hospitable image. Such forms of conflicts will not only dampen the adventurous spirit of tourists but also discourage them from visiting Nepal.
            This event, widely covered by national and international media, has shown us that mutual respect and communication is imperative in the hospitality business. 

What a Woman Wants


Catcalls, humiliating words, and rape, how much can we take? Women are violated in every possible way, every possible day. This isn’t a trend that has recently started. Discrimination of women is something that has taken place since the beginning of time. Instead of respecting the gender that gave birth to them, men tend to take advantage of, abuse, and violate women.  It’s not only the men though, women have begun to undermine and contravene their own kind. Brainwashed by society, women have begun to think less of the gender in which they belong.  
 Discrimination is a word often used. It’s usually used for the minority, the misfits. However, discrimination is the correct term for women even though they happen to be equal or more in population than men. No matter how many women there are, if there’s a man, the man is thought to be automatically better. This is shown from the gender determined obstacles that women have to face from the day they are born. The problem begins there because if the zygote is known to be a female it is usually aborted. Many girls don’t get the chance to be discriminated later in life, as they are never given a life to live. The gender preference of the society is blatantly evident. When an elder in the family gives their blessing to a newly married couple, they will almost always say that they’re hoping they produce a male child. Even before the zygote is formed, many people are praying that their child is a male.
In the work place, generally a man is preferred over a woman. For the same work done, men get paid more than women do. Discrimination and bias is evident everywhere. Hypothetically, there is a pair of journalists. They both write about politics on the daily paper. The woman is evidently more experienced and skilled, while the man makes silly grammatical mistakes. It’s obvious that of the two, the woman is a better journalist. If this is the case, why is the man still getting the higher pay? Shouldn’t the amount of money a person makes depend on the quality of their work, instead of the gender they belong to?
What happens when the child is born as a female? Well, they’re discriminated even further. In many places in Asia, when there are more than one children of more than one gender, the male is always favored.  They are provided with the best form of education and their nutrition needs are met, no matter what the cost. However, if the child is a female, the education they may receive may not be of the best quality, as their food. If the need of the family is grave, then the girl is sold. Another example is when a girl marries a boy; the girl takes his last name. Why not the other way around? Why doesn’t the boy change is last name? A girl changing her maiden name after marriage is so common, we don’t give it a second thought. However, it is a form of discrimination.
Human trafficking is one of the biggest forms of discrimination. Have you ever heard about trafficking boys? This may take place, but it is not common. However, the trafficking of girls? That’s one of the most common places for a poverty-struck young woman to end up. When a girl is sold, she usually doesn’t know that she will end up becoming a prostitute. She usually has big dreams, dreams that will help her family abundantly. She wants to go to the big city to live a noble, respected life. She, in the changing of events, ends up in a prostitution house. There, she’s is treated not like the graceful woman she wants to be. No, she’s treated like an object. That girl becomes an object men can buy, use, and then throw. It is in such houses that an abundance of torn self-esteems, broken dreams, and the lack of humanity are seen. The girl with the big dreams ends up in a place where only nightmares flourish. That is the most disgusting irony.
Most of us are aware of the trafficking of women, yet we do nothing to create a change. We turn our heads, not seeing the nightmarish-reality that takes place right in front of us. We preach, yet we do not practice. That is the reason that trafficking still exists, the reason that these girls must go through torturous daily activities. This girls literally live a life that’s always somewhere between life and death.
Today, most countries believe in human rights. They believe that every person should be treated equally. They believe that everybody should have the same rights.  These rights include the right to life, the right to free speech, and the right to information. If these rights were practiced in respect to every human being, we’d live in a partially positive world. However, these rights are usually practiced in respect to males. Women aren’t even considered human, as they’re not given their human rights. Some females don’t have the right to live as they are aborted, as soon as they come into existence. Most females aren’t allowed to say what they think or feel, most are just scared. Females also are not given enough education to know what their right are, thus they lack the right to information. Without these basic human rights, women are no longer even considered human.  The quality of the education that a woman receives is usually not the best. Since they lack quality education, they are taken advantage of. The lack of education along with the lack of respect on the part of men, are the main reasons that violence against women exists. Women are teased, raped, and abused (emotionally and physically) on a daily basis.
 Society, even though it consists of women, is against them. A woman is told to be perfect. She must have a portioned acne-free face, shiny pearly whites, and a personality as bright as the sun. If she is missing any of this, she’s considered imperfect. She’s considered a flaw in the society, a horrible misfit. That decreases the esteem of women and increases those of men. This leads to men thinking they are better than women, and this kind of thinking results in horrible actions being taken towards women.  
  As a member of the female gender, I will not tolerate the explicit discrimination and injustice practiced against women in our society. I would like to take a stand for the women that cannot stand for themselves. I would love to make sure these women become independent, outspoken, and worthy individuals in which our gender can take pride. This is why I would love to intern or volunteer in the Alliance Against Trafficking in Women and Children in Nepal (AATWIN Nepal). This organization gives us, the people, a say and allows us to take a stand for what we believe in. As a feminist, I would love to do all I can to make this country and world a safer, more women-friendly place.  With my passion for the subject and my driven attitude, I would love to take part in this organization. This is because it’s time for a change to come. It’s time women are treated equally and respectfully. 

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Real Dreams Are Dead Dreams

When we are young, we are told to dream. We are told we can do whatever we want when we grow up. The thought itself made us want to grow up very, very quickly. We couldn't wait for the freedom to follow dreams we didn't really have. We'd spend hours dreaming and fantasizing about being a grown up. We'd have our own dog and we'd always have McDonald's Happy Meal for dinner. How could life get any better? We couldn't wait for time to speed ahead! Fast forward 10 years, we'd give anything to go back.

When I was 5, I wanted to be an artist. A painter, a sculpture, a drawer. I used to draw and color the whole day through. My art work wasn't the best of quality, but they did have a whole chunk of my 5 year old heart covering them. Oh, and how I loved it. How I loved creating dogs and humans that looked more like mice and dolls. How i loved painting fish and creating a farm that hadn't existed before I decided to take the initiative.

Then I grew up a bit, and I realized at 10 that artwork wasn't going to pay my bills. I couldn't paint away my bills. Being an artist wasn't a possibility. I could always paint and create for fun, but first I needed a job. When I grew up, I needed a real job. That was when the never ending war, the one that continues to this day, began. Should I be a lawyer or journalist?

Honestly, I'd like to be both. I'd feel satisfied and content in both fields. I'd feel passionate about making a difference. I'd be able to sleep soundly. However, I wouldn't be ecstatic going to work everyday. I wouldn't look forward to mondays, and I might even count down to retirement once in a while.

What do I still really want to be? An artist.

Even though with the lack of art skills I currently have, I am in no way more happier than when I'm creating something. That's why I like the prospect of journalism, it's the second best. I could still create something, I could string together words and tell the truth. I could make a difference and make things known. The words I used would become sentences and then paragraph, and in the very end, a story.

The sad thing is, I still can't paint away my bills and loans. Financially, I'd fail as an artist. But as a journo or a lawyer? I may still succeed.

And don't you know, success is important?