Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Real Dreams Are Dead Dreams

When we are young, we are told to dream. We are told we can do whatever we want when we grow up. The thought itself made us want to grow up very, very quickly. We couldn't wait for the freedom to follow dreams we didn't really have. We'd spend hours dreaming and fantasizing about being a grown up. We'd have our own dog and we'd always have McDonald's Happy Meal for dinner. How could life get any better? We couldn't wait for time to speed ahead! Fast forward 10 years, we'd give anything to go back.

When I was 5, I wanted to be an artist. A painter, a sculpture, a drawer. I used to draw and color the whole day through. My art work wasn't the best of quality, but they did have a whole chunk of my 5 year old heart covering them. Oh, and how I loved it. How I loved creating dogs and humans that looked more like mice and dolls. How i loved painting fish and creating a farm that hadn't existed before I decided to take the initiative.

Then I grew up a bit, and I realized at 10 that artwork wasn't going to pay my bills. I couldn't paint away my bills. Being an artist wasn't a possibility. I could always paint and create for fun, but first I needed a job. When I grew up, I needed a real job. That was when the never ending war, the one that continues to this day, began. Should I be a lawyer or journalist?

Honestly, I'd like to be both. I'd feel satisfied and content in both fields. I'd feel passionate about making a difference. I'd be able to sleep soundly. However, I wouldn't be ecstatic going to work everyday. I wouldn't look forward to mondays, and I might even count down to retirement once in a while.

What do I still really want to be? An artist.

Even though with the lack of art skills I currently have, I am in no way more happier than when I'm creating something. That's why I like the prospect of journalism, it's the second best. I could still create something, I could string together words and tell the truth. I could make a difference and make things known. The words I used would become sentences and then paragraph, and in the very end, a story.

The sad thing is, I still can't paint away my bills and loans. Financially, I'd fail as an artist. But as a journo or a lawyer? I may still succeed.

And don't you know, success is important?

No comments:

Post a Comment